Thursday, December 07, 2006
I m still healing myself after the huge blow, loser-ness n loneliness on prom. Who said that prom is an enjoyable n happy moment? I totally disagree now after the very date which I will remember for my whole life - 30/11/2006. The very day I shall mark the moment which I had bring my loser level to a higher height - the
prom loser which was initially at the
true loser level.
One of my fellow loner told me that the lowest level of a loner was the
Seasoned Loner. And me of course at a higher level, is called the
Veteran Loner. Whats the different between these 2 terms then? At seasonal level, one is just getting used to being a loner for a starting short period of time. It could be due to some changes in life that may have caused this change, however at this stage, one is still able to get back into life quite easily. However, at my stage which is the
Veteran level
, one has been through many experiences and a long period of time of being a loner. He is all by his own at any occasion. Emotional, he is never happy and always envious of the people surrounding him who has a great exciting life, while his is dull, boring, and alone. On top to that, he has lost his confidence and guts totally, resulting in him to be stuck in this form forever.
Every morning when i wake up, I would ask myself the same question - Am I a loner today? I cant seem to change the fact that i am really a loner and nth can be changed about it. Its like a curse which can never be lifted. Everyday seems endless, blurred and lost to me. Why isnt my life as fantastic, exciting and interesting as others?
Attending prom is like adding salt to my wounds. In fact this wound has been infected very badly as i m feeling the blues everytime I recall about prom. Knowing that my days are numbered, I have a simple request to ask whoever is reading this blog right now... which is to pretend that I had never existed at all or you had never known me in the first place. Erase me off from your memory bank.
By the way, if you think that u have reach the stage of a Veteran Loner, pls do give me a tag and identify youself.
+LCP LONER+
